Friday, January 6, 2012

Seriously?...

It is only day 6 of the New Year and I've been hit with a mound of stress. Fear not! I will push through this, because I absolutely. Have. To.

I've got a pretty strong work ethic, but when I was hit with depression and anxiety, it took me down like a cheerleader getting hit by a biker chick. I spent I don't know how long feeling sorry for myself and burying my head under my blankets, afraid to face the world.

Then I went back to work, got injured, spent two years getting two surgeries on my left wrist and dealing with Pain and Torture. (Physical Therapy) Went back to work, got sick again with fluid on my brain and full hysterectomy. Am back to work again.

My whole attitude about things these days has completely changed. I'm tired of pulling my blanket up over my head. So like every other Alaskan, I've had the whole "Suck It Up" attitude. I step out into 10 degree weather to fill a propane tank and suck it up and just do it.

I do have a point here, somewhere. Probably buried under all the snow.

I got hit with some pretty tough financial problems two days ago and have had to deal with some emotional family issues. Sadly, it all hit me at once and I don't feel like I am having a very good New Year.

I know I posted about being positive in your web presence, but I did state you were allowed to whine as long as you got over it. Well, I'm whining. I'm sniveling a bit and I will get over it. I met someone who has been hit harder than me and even though I have nothing to give, I scraped up something and passed it on.

It will get better, not just for me, but for my new-found friend. There will always, always be someone there to support you and help out. If you need a hand, don't be afraid to ask. So bear with me, my friends, while I get over this and figure out the best way to deal with things. It is sapping me of my creativity at the moment and I'm trying to push past that.

8 comments:

Angela Brown said...

Keeping a positive web presence is great. But since we're human, a rant every now and again is not a bad thing. Besides, if you were just absolutely perky perfect, I so would fear you suffered from Stepford syndrome or something. So glad to see you're 100% red blooded human :-)

You've already done the hard part. You've admitted that at this point, things aren't going so well. You even went a step further and pulled some grace out of you even in the middle of your own sucky moment.

That rocks.

So keep beating the drum for that can-do spirit. And you will DEFINITELY push past this obstacle.

M.J. Fifield said...

I'm with Angela... the occasional whine/rant is not a bad thing. I think it might actually be good for the skin.

Hang in there...

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Yes, what Angela said! Remember, it is always darkest before the dawn. And once you hit rock bottom, there is nowhere to go but up!

Unknown said...

I agree with Alex. When we are in the valleys of life, the mountain tops are near. I hope things get better for you. I understand how it's hard to write when you're down. (Lord, knows I get like that too.) BUT I've found that writing, even though I don't feel like it, makes things better. I get to escape in another world for that time, and let's face it, we all need to escape reality sometimes. Just a thought. Tomorrow is another day! :)

Mel Chesley said...

I'm no Stepford, that's for sure. Thanks guys, this is just what I needed. :)

Jasmine Walt said...

Sending lots of good wishes your way. If you can make it through all that, then I'm sure you'll come through this next hurdle shining as well!

Jamie Gibbs said...

Vanessa's got a good point; although you feel your creativity has been sapped, writing for the joy of escapism sounds like a good idea.

I hope everything works out for you Mel. We've got your back!

Hart Johnson said...

Oh, man--you DID get hit with it! So sorry about that! I hope things begin improving very soon!